twisted

i'm afraid that im twisted and dark inside and i never really knew it. that there's something wrong in the way i've been leading life that's built up and culminated to this feeling. that i'm twisted inside, not whole. a person that's been functioning badly and didnt know it.

maybe there isnt enough discipline in my life. maybe there isnt enough honesty. maybe there isnt enough passion. maybe there isnt enough bravado. perhaps i've shut myself into this corner that i cant even find myself anymore. i cant find my way out into the light, into fresh air. it's like putting your hands over your mouth and breathing in the same damn humid deoxgenated stifling air you've been breathing over and over again. i think im doing this to myself, and im as dark and twisted as gloria is and that's why i cant look at her. cos im like her.

i wish someone would take my hands away from my own mouth and open my eyes. and lead me on a run that would get my heart pumping and wouldnt let go even if i wanted to stop, even if i was tugging away and would yell at me to run faster and never let go, and tell me khalisa, change your habits. change ur mindset. you can do it, it's as easy as holding my hand and trying. it'll be better, just breathe the oxygen that's all around you and open your eyes.