Reading through previous posts, I realised almost all of them are Declaratory posts. Things I discovered/decided and put down as factual statements, to convince myself that I'm convinced of them. Cos hey, you're perception is your reality right? I wish my reality was just that; real to me without me having to build it up consciously.

Believing in love is like believing in Santa Claus.

All my days

I should do something with my life. I'm getting older, it's going to creep up on me. Suddenly I will wake up and find that I'm thirty years old, and I will still be the same person in the same place. I will wonder where all that time went, and I will have regrets. I fear an age of regrets.

if my pride was tangible and i could gather it and pile it up in my hands, how big would it be and how much would it weigh?

I cannot forgive you for not telling me if you're working on the case that might destroy the firm I'm working in. Because for once in quite a long time, I realise I'm pretty contented. Pretty happy. I feel I could work with this, you know. This job. It gives me space and time to breathe, and be myself. Get the recognition and trust that I crave, and friendships that I enjoy.

The suit threatens that. You're my friend. You should've told me if you knew. If you cared at all.

It's ok to hurt, it won't hurt forever.
It's ok to be angry, and confused, and weak.

One day it'll all fall into place.

"He will be your next target."

I hated it when you said that. I know you meant no malice of course, you were just being Mel. Going with your super-strong female instinct, knowing things as if you were born knowing them and telling it like it is.

But still i resented it, because you meant it. You didnt mean it as a joke. And if you really knew me, i've only really been in love with only two guys in my entire life. Andy and Allen. That deserves a little acknowledgement doesn't it? It's not like I'm ready to fall in love with any guy that comes along.

And why can't ppl respect that I go with my gut instincts when I make all decisions in life. REALLY i do. i dont plan things, i dont calculate them and weigh all options and have a flowchart for how my life will pan out. trust me, i wish i did. maybe i dont because i'm too afraid of disapointment. so that makes me a coward. so what? kindly mind your own tepi kain.

it also makes everything that happens an anecdote. i like to make ppl laugh and be amused. but my anecdotes are also my failures. don't you see? every anecdote is the lack of success. so laugh, but don't ever make fun, and don't presume you know the next thing about me and how i will come across my anecdote.

like i said, i dont plan my life. neither should you plan it for me.

I can't decide whether to give up on you or keep hanging on