to myself

To Myself
by Franz Wright

You are riding the bus again
burrowing into the blackness of Interstate 80,
the sole passenger

with an overhead light on.
And I am with you.
I’m the interminable fields you can’t see,

the little lights off in the distance
(in one of those rooms we are
living) and I am the rain

and the others all
around you, and the loneliness you love,
and the universe that loves you specifically, maybe,

and the catastrophic dawn,
the nicotine crawling on your skin—
and when you begin

to cough I won’t cover my face,
and if you vomit this time I will hold you:
everything’s going to be fine

I will whisper.
It won’t always be like this.
I am going to buy you a sandwich.

GOTTA SNAP OUT OF THIS FUNK.
it doesn't feel good to be a lazy bitch :(

A wish

happy chinese new year, andy hong

everything little tihng, is gonna be alright

i am kinda in love with my equity prof.
it's not a horrid feeling :)

what's different this time?

I am starting to see that I have to depend on myself

one last tender lie

I can't do this anymore because you make me wonder why I'm so unlovable, and it hurts me.

I just don't want to hurt anymore.

wimp.

it's starting to piss me off that i have no claim over him.

no right to know, where he is, where he's going, what he's doing, when he wakes up and what time he sleeps.

no right to tell him to stop smoking.

no right to be jealous that he's calling and laughing, and texting and going shopping with his girl best friend.

no right to be sad that he still misses his ex.

what a soft-hearted wimp i am, what a sucker.